Open All Night!!!

Don’t mess with Mummy!

This week has certainly been Mother Nature’s week, hasn’t it?

And I’m real glad to be part of the celebrations as well.

I live in a part of the world where we’re immune to most natural disasters. We don’t have no tornadoes. No hurricanes, cyclones or typhoons. No earthquakes and neither do we have any Tsunamis (at least none of the serious kinds). Almost never do we have droughts or even dangerous forest fires. The most we have are floods and the occasional landslides. The former isn’t really fun because you can see it building up so the loss of human life is rather low. And the latter usually just happens in one single area so the death toll is quite minimal.

But yesterday as I sat by my desk, I noticed something truly spectacular; the building I was in seemed to be swaying back and forth. It seemed to be rocking, so I stopped typing just to assess what the fuck was going on and indeed it really was fucking moving. I was utterly puzzled, a tad bit disoriented and dare I even say a little troubled and afraid as I began asking myself – is this an earthquake? Adrenaline was beginning to pump in and my body was being filled with this quickening rush which was both exhilarating and euphoric.

I ran in utter excitement and asked around if anyone ‘felt that’? Nobody did, so I thought perhaps it was nothing, till two online messages had popped up on my monitor screen, two friends from two different parts of the city; one was “Is your building moving?” and another was “omg, the building is moving, we are having an earthquake.”

I googled it up and immediately I found out that a 7.9 Richter scale earthquake had been reported off the western coast of Sumatra.

I had experienced the first earthquake tremors in my life and boy was it one the most satisfying 12 seconds of my life.

It was one of the pinnacle experiences in my life because I felt utterly powerless and feeble. It was sheer beauty, it was confusing and yet it was bliss. To not be in control of your environment is a gift everyone should cherish. I can’t say that I didn’t feel a little sad when it didn’t get worse. When it was over, I honestly hoped that it would happen again; I was hoping for it to be a lot more serious, maybe a building or two going down, perhaps even a few hundred people perishing but sigh…nothing of that sort happened. Some buildings were even evacuated for fear that its dwellers might get injured. Some of my friends even scurried off back home as soon as they could. Goddamn pussies!

Human beings seek to become Gods. That has always been our ambition. To be omnipotent – All Powerful – can’t say we haven’t achieved it have we? We can lift gargantuan boulders, move buildings and even destroy an entire civilization. We aim to be omniscient – All Knowing – the internet is testament to this. Any information as long as it has been processed by the human mind can be found in this cyber gateway of infinite information. We also seek to be omnipresent – All Present – we want to be at all places at all times, well, what the fuck you think CCTV’s are all about?

We are arrogant. We think nothing can stop us. We, a mere twig, in the tree of Life, look down upon the tree and say “I own you!” and just about then Nature flicks Man’s balls and kicks him in the face putting him back where he belongs – in the fuckin dirt; telling him whose really in charge and why he should just shut the fuck up!

This week has been proof to that. Typhoon Kestana plundered China, raped Vietnam and left the Philippines bleeding from the asshole – 320 dead, hundreds missing and thousands are homeless. The Tsunami in Samoa showed the Samoans what a violent facefuck feels like – 150 dead and counting, many more are missing and a city that looks like someone’s beer puke. And the Earthquake off Sumatra reignited Indonesia’s annual passion for anal fisting at plate tectonics proportions – 750 dead and counting, thousands are homeless and many without their families. This is Nature. It does not give a fuck and it will never stop. It is relentless. And I absolutely love it. The more dead people there are, the better.

Of course people always tell me – It’s easy for you to say that, wait till you lose a loved one in a disaster. – Sure, I’ll be sad if I do lose a loved one, but the moment I see some other dead motherfucker floating around, I’m going to be fucking happy again. Do we actually expect to live forever? Do we actually think that Nature somehow gives a flying fuck about our so called ‘right to life’? Do we really think that just because we put some doofus on the moon that somehow we have achieved Godhood and now own Nature? Fuck that!

Take a slice of bread and leave it out in the open for 3-4 days. You see mold beginning to grow on it. The mold begins to replicate itself and increase rather exponentially over the surface of the bread before covering it up completely and changing the very appearance of the bread. The bread begins to decompose as the mold feeds on the bread. The mold eventually releases its spores into the air. By chance, one of it will land on another slice of bread and the cycle will begin all over again.

Take planet Earth and leave it out in the open for 3-4 billion years. You see humans beginning to grow on it. The humans begin replicating themselves and increase rather exponentially over the surface of the Earth before covering it up completely and changing the very appearance of the Earth. The Earth begins to get polluted as the humans feed off the Earth. The humans eventually release themselves into space. By chance, one of it will find a new Earth to colonize and the cycle begins all over again.

Sure, we may choose to look at ourselves and see ourselves as ‘Individuals’ but if you get down to the bottom of it all and view us within the sheer expanse that is the Universe, are we, the God that is Man, any different from the bacteria that surround us all? We kill our germs to not get sick. The Earth kills us so it doesn’t get sick. Where else are you going to find a fairer fucking deal?

So the next time, you feel a 9.8 Richter scale earthquake, see a 28 foot tsunami 200 metres away or have winds blowing at an excess of 300km/h – be thankful – because Mummy Nature is reaching out to you and saying: GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

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