5 major Assholes that need to be fucked majorly in the Asshole!
So I’ve been mucking around for about 3 months, taking time off from blogging and I haven’t been complaining about any-fucking-thing at-fucking-all. So without further ado, my fellow friends, I am going to jump straight into it and start my list of 5 major Assholes that need to be fucked majorly in the Asshole! (in no particular order, of course!).
People who visit Spas
What the fuck kinda insolvent lives do these motherfuckers have? These dingbats are usually the cocksucking yuppies of the corporate world whom you see meandering through their white collar jobs in mundane criminal joints like banks, financial institutions, accounting firms, tax advising companies, investment consultants and multi-national corporations pretending to look important with their laptops, mobile phones and mp3 players. No good bunch of swine that do nothing but waste precious space here on Earth.
And these fuckers after procuring, through their corporations, some of the most vilest and disgusting crimes against humanity and the planet – mass deforestation, over fishing, oil drilling, open burning, worker discrimination, excessive mining, displacement of indigenous population, supporting corrupt foreign regimes, funding weapons production, backing dictators, sponsoring child soldiers, subsidizing genocides, producing unhealthy food, polluting the water supply, defiling the skies with toxic properties, bribing government officials, cheating consumers, laundering money for human trafficking, tainting the landscape with their faeces looking advertisements, wasting television time with inane ads, selling low quality garbage, putting local traders out of business, constructing culture, manufacturing consent among the population and demotivating the pursuit of knowledge and truth among the nation – need to unwind, de-stress and tune out at these ridiculously over-priced, over-elaborate and over-decorated shit houses called Spas.
It is in these places where they get their milk baths, foot reflexology, oil massages, facials, salt scrubs, skin toning, skin moisturizing, skin exfoliation, facial peels, steaming, sauna, therapeutic baths, aromatherapy dips, mineral spring baths, manicure, pedicure, body wraps, waxing, weight loss advice, nutritional counseling to bullshit them into thinking that somehow they deserve all the above shit and have contributed to the betterment and well being of the fuckin planet. Fuck you!
The ignorance of these people fuckin makes me sick! Don’t these people know the kind of filth they shit on the world? The amount of mess they create while they drench themselves in an opiate of “wellness” and “relaxation”? The turmoil, bloodshed and horror they smear on the world through their impersonal bureaucratic narcissism? What sickening ignorance! These people should feel ashamed of themselves.
But! Perhaps that’s why they visit these spas, because deep down in them they feel a need to cleanse themselves from the gut wrenching guilt, the flaring heartache and the tumultuous tempest of shame. It is a baptismal rite of sort; a kind of temporary assuage from the goriness of cold corporatism, a purification of their blood stained hands, a mirage of comfort and peace away from a business-place so ridden with disease, greed and an insatiable hunger for wealth, power and fame. It now beckons that, in reality, these people are a weak bunch of shits! And yet still, a bunch of selfish cunts.
What ever happened to age old Granma remedies of de-stressing like oral sex? What the fuck ever happened to handjobs? And why the fuck has it become so hard for guys to go down on girls? If these losers can inject a little oral sex into their lives, they’ll feel so much more proud about themselves, not to mention they’ll be saving themselves a ton of money, effort and sparing themselves all the nonsensical “health” bullshit these retarded spa wankoffs fill their heads with.
Also, it’s your only time to get to know your girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife and perhaps be reminded by them of the kind of fucker you really are and how you should quit your job immediately and go work in a Norwegian fishing vessel in the North Sea with a bunch of sex deprived one eyed anal sex loving sailors!
As long as these people refuse to comply with my demands, I suggest these people need to be dipped into a big pool of cyanide and be pissed on by a gang of angry psychopaths at a local high security prison before being lathered with rabbit blood and tossed into a pit filled with rabies infected hyenas.
Wow, that was a heavy burden of my chest. 3 months is a long fucking time! Now for the next bunch of cunts!
Over enthusiastic Feminists
This is one really sickening bunch of ass-wipes which deserve to be sodomised with a whaling harpoon during a cold Antarctic blizzard and later made to undergo an un-anaesthetized surgical procedure involving the removal of their vaginas to be sold to a Vietnamese fish market in downtown San Francisco.
Now, I say this with great sincerity: I truly agree with feminists and I give them my 100% support. I agree that Women have been beaten, scarred, tortured, scalded, drowned, bought, sold, kicked, punched, pounded, stomped, abused, slapped, choked, whipped, mutilated, burnt, mangled, mauled, executed, raped, gang-raped, orally fucked, anally probed, molested, harassed, victimized, discriminated, prejudiced, spat on, pissed on, ejaculated on and even shat on throughout the centuries by Men; a group of people notorious for being highly insecure about the size of their penis while being utterly irrational and downright completely full of shit.
BUT, I intend to focus on this new wave of overly enthusiastic feminists who seek not to empower women and help women in poverty, penury and destitution but to vilify anyone who maintains some so called ‘inappropriate male chauvinist word’ in their vocabulary. I have a problem with anyone who tells me how to speak or what words I can and cannot use. The control of language is the control of thoughts. Period.
I do agree that ‘Chairman’ needs to be ‘Chairperson’ and that ‘Men at Work’ needs to be ‘Work in Progress’ but to tell me that I can no longer call my female friends ‘dear’, ‘gal’ and ‘babe’ or ‘hot’, ‘sexy’ and ‘fine’ when they themselves have no problems with it and in fact consider it to be a compliment, is nothing more than an attempt to fuck with my thoughts and to infringe on my freedom to be myself.
Besides, if you study these feminists carefully, you’ll realise that they are completely full of shit themselves. Most of these feminists are rich, upper class, highly educated dipshits who are really only in this movement out of pure self interest, personal glorification and a need to feel important.
They don’t really give a shit about indigenous women being harassed by city dwellers, slum-living matriarchs having to take care of 12 children, rural living girls who are currently pregnant with their stepfather’s child, poor women who are subverted by religious bigots, ethnic minority women who are deprived of educational opportunities or young refugee girls raped by AIDS infected soldiers – Nah they’re only interested in dumb superficial shits like words, sign posts and forms! What a bunch of fuckin hypocrites!
I have more respect for the above affected women than any of these over enthusiastic feminist posers.
To the affected women mentioned above, I salute and bow down before you.You are proof of strength, courage and intrepidness; even with the shittiest conditions in life, these women still come out on top, living to see another day. These women embody what is truly real about a Woman. All must draw their inspiration from them.
To feminists who really give a shit: Stop blaming men. No amount of blaming is ever going to solve the problem you have now. You can start your mission by getting your hands dirty and educating all women, regardless of class, ethnicity, religion or nationality, that they aren’t weak. You battle is half won if you could just work on that.
In the meantime, get yourself a vibrator and bask in the joys of a womanly orgasm!
Next bunch of cocksuckers are:
I have great sympathy for employees who owing to their greedy money-grabbing employers hire numbskull shitheads like these motivational speakers to somehow fill the heads of his employees with baloney. It must take an employer with no scrupulous whatsoever to subject his employees to such degrading dictation; to place them under hours of brainwashing made for the sole, devious and crafty purpose of increasing productivity and bringing in more profits for him – fucking unemotional cunt!
An employer like this doesn’t give a fuck about you, your well being or your family. All he cares about is how much of your life he can waste in the office so he can successfully ‘maximise profits’ and ‘increase revenue’. An employer like this has no respect for the people that make his business possible; workers are treated like chattel, to be filled with lies, worked till exhaustion and expended when no longer workable; the employee, made into a dumb docile parrot incapable of reasoning, logic or any real social interaction – merely conditioned to follow orders, bend over and be fucked in the asshole when appropriate.
And who are the jackholes that make all of this possible? The wanking motherfucking Motivational fucking Speakers of course! The modern day equivalent of Joseph Goebbels. The would-have-been poster boys for the Nazi’s Ministry of Public Information and Propaganda. Fucking jackholes!
All these fucktards do are give people intense psychosis about power, loyalty, care, share, hope, support, here, now, energy, move up, get up, stand up, target, open, release, breathe in, breathe out, confidence, enthusiasm, expectation, movement, strength, initiative, dynamic, positive, proactive, trust, focus, attention, concentration, commitment, friendship, motion, emotion, building, constructing, harnessing, guiding, leading, following, agreeing, compromising, improving, creating, innovating, communicating, furthering, balancing, body language, role model, self esteem, peak performance, key performance, people person, soft skills, personal development, team player, goal oriented, outcome based, results driven, time saving, income generating, personal service and unbacked claims which start with the phrase “Research has shown that…” .
In truth, all they actually really need is one word – BULLSHIT!
Hours and hours are wasted by these motivational assholes by spewing forth vacuous repetitious shit that only serve to dull the mind and dupe unsuspecting hardworking people of modest means into engaging in mundane unchallenging jobs with a shitty fuckin pay. These assholes don’t give a fuck about you! These people are doing one of the dirtiest deeds ever (right next to a priest might I add) – filling your head with shit, filth and garbage!
And these motivational assholes love the attention don’t they? That’s why they’re in this shit criminal enterprise of perpetrating fraud and dishonesty to begin with. Somehow the idea that they can play God with people’s feelings and emotions appeals to them; coercing people to behave as they want them to, deviously abusing language and anchoring false meaning, pretences and concepts into people’s minds.
Somehow these deprived motivational assholes find these activities validating to their own meaningless existence. Deep in them these assholes know that they are useless insecure losers. No skills, no talents, no expertise, nothing. Only a mouth full of shit!
These are the worse kind of criminal assholes you’ll find on the face of the Earth; providing masses of shit for the masses and getting paid in masses while preying on the weak, picking on those that differ, suppressing legitimate pleas for help, inciting guilt in the innocent and promoting a culture of ruthlessness, militancy and hostility – just like a fuckin Cult – shades of Jonestown my friends! Shades of Jonestown indeed!
If these people want the attention, I say we give it to them. These fuckers need to have their testicles stolen from them while they’re asleep and have it fed to a pack of hungry mongooses high on crack cocaine. And their dicks glued into the asshole of a geriatric woman at an old folks home who has lost all control of her bowels.
Life is ultimately pretty fucking simple folks. If you see a need to be motivated in your job, then you’re in the wrong job. The reason you’re demotivated is cause your job sucks. That’s the reality of it. Quit now before you regret later.
And fuck these assholes when they tell you “You need ‘team spirit’” or that “You need to work as a ‘team’!”. Fuck off! If you can’t work with the team, it doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you, it simply means that there’s something wrong with the team. They can’t fucking think for themselves like you can, hence why they need to group together like the weak shit that they are and form a fuckin ‘team’! Goddamn weak fuckin pussies. This planet is not reserved for weak people, that I can assure you. Move on.
The next time one of these motivational wankers comes to your office to give you a “training”, walk up to him, show him your middle finger and say “SUCK MY SHIT ASSHOLE!”. Then quit your job and go do something worthwhile with your life!
People from the New Age movement
Jesus Holy Mother of Anus! These pricks are worse than a syphilis infected prick.
These deprived lunatics and their ridiculous perversions on magnets, wind chimes, tarot cards, joss sticks, incense, crystals, minerals, jades, palmistry, astrology, fortune telling, crystal balls, charms, cauldrons, wands, oils, candles, gemstones, crystals, chalices, runes, talking boards, pendants, cloaks, daggers, necklaces, beads, rings, scarves, pentagrams, crosses, talismans, amulets, flower essences, altars, oil lamps, weird looking Feng Shui shit, statues, figurines, dyes, hennas, spell casting books, prophesies, séances, rituals, ceremonies, spirit cleansing, healing, chanting and dowsing is just bringing the entire species down in terms of intellect and intelligence.
Living in the 21st century one would think that these dark ages mumbo jumbo abracadabra shit would be long flushed down into the toilet – BUT NO! – what we have instead is an accumulating population of neurotic shitheads who believe that life on this planet and the actions of all its inhabitants are dictated by stars and planets, months and light years away; that somehow the very moment a baby drops out of a vagina to the very moment a piece of shit drops out of your asshole to the very moment an old fuck drops from his wheel chair in an old folks home covered in his own shit, are all determined by a group of insignificant stars in the fringes of some galactic shithole somewhere. Insane fucking kooks!
You know something that really bothers me? It is how society operates such a disgruntling double standard when it comes to treating people. We brand these New Age assholes as “mystics”, “sages” and “enlightened ones” but if say some guy walks up to a square in the middle of a city and claims that he is a cybernetic extra-terrestrial faecal matter transposed into Earth from a different inter dimensional cellular membrane after having been transferred through an infinite oceanic flow of flatulent gasses from where an All Powerful All Knowing All Present Force had instructed him to save mankind by manufacturing cheeseless pizzas and coating it with pesticide, shoe laces and cow diarrhea; what do we do? – WE LOCK THIS GUY UP IN A MENTAL ASYLUM!
Why doesn’t the same standard apply to these New Age fuckoffs who believe in the same ridiculous unproven moronic claims?
What’s even worse is the amount of money these fucktards make by duping innocent people of their life savings while filling their heads with empty promises and false hopes. Why is there a defence afforded to these con jobs? Is this really the kind of shits we want alive and walking the streets? At which point do we start the public executions of these mentally crippled cretins?
The problem with these fucks is that they are simply too shallow and too ignorant. They find it difficult dealing with the realities of life; the sheer simplicity of a world dictated by malicious Men rather than some so called benevolent invisible “Spirit”, “Energy” or “Soul”.
So, to deal with their ignorance, they have to make believe some nonsensical shit to give themselves some construct by which to lead their decrepit, disgusting and pointless lives; primitive, antiquated and archaic practices which do nothing but placate inquiry and make a mockery of life itself; pushing the species a little further back into the shitter.
These people have no appreciation of life and therefore we must terminate them one at a time with as much pain, suffering and torture as possible.
I think society should be much more proactive in killing some of these money grabbing cunt sniffers. Why can’t we just sodomise these cockholes with a nice razor sharp pentagram before drowning them in a sewage tank and put it live on national television as a prime time special? We could call it New Age Sewage. Good ratings I tell ya!
Next on the hit list….
Rappers who aren’t Black
If you’re any other colour besides black or do not consider yourself an African American or Caribbean then you have and will never have any authority rapping about anything.
It makes me utterly sick when I see white people and Asian people rapping. What the fuck do these people have to rap about? I cringe when I see the state of music in America these days; the country has come to be filled with part time posers and full time losers, rapping has become something “cool”. Worst of all, rapping and hip hop has become a ‘fad’ or a ‘trend’, and that my friends is no way to treat a genre of music that has expressed the heartfelt view of the 80’s and 90’s black American youths. Stop destroying and infiltrating the culture of others. Be proud of your KKK and your Kung Pao Chicken Rice.
Here’s a guide to ‘When you should Rap’ – when you have experienced or have been subjected to the immediate and/or distant effects of slavery, racism, police brutality, prison life, gang fights, drug dealing, gun crime, matriarchal family, poverty and racist white politicians. If you haven’t had any experience with more than 4 of above, then you can’t rap about anything. Stay at home and let your mummy wank you off every night before you go to bed.
And to all Malaysian rappers, I say FUCK YOU! You lame bunch of retarded good for nothing talentless unskilled shits. What the fuck do you know about rapping? You piece of shit pretentious superficial assholes. What the hell are you even doing being alive and duping naïve teenagers with your brand of low quality lo-fi stream of incoherent syllables which you call ‘rap’ or ‘hip hop’ and with your so called ‘beats’ which you surprisingly and deceptively pass off as ‘music’. Go fuck yourself with a bamboo after your Granpa is done using it as a play-toy to fuck his 9 year granddaughter before using it to cook lemang with.
What on Earth do you even have to rap about? Some retarded pompous Asian chick dancing in a club gave you a hard on and you went home and jacked off to her? You come from some weird watered down part of Malaysia which nobody gives a fuck about? You have all the girls you want but yet can’t stay in the same room with them for the fear of being raided and charged with Khalwat? The fact that you’re living the high life but could be charged with consuming alcohol in the Syariah court? The fact that your mum and dad sponsored the making of your EP, singles and album? Fuck you!
And take that idiotic baggy pants of yours and shove it up the cunt of your “producer” and that disgusting yellow and green Fubu tee and ram it up the asshole of your “manager”. You are a disgrace to this country, your family and yourself.
In order to be a rapper, you must have lived life as a black American lower class youth; to feel the sheer sense of jadedness, alienation and disenchantment of a fate that is just inhumanely crippling. Take the black family structure throughout the last two centuries and you’ll see how affected black kids have been in America.
‘Father figures’ have been almost absent. Pre-slavery, most African tribes practiced polygamy which meant there was never a father. During slavery, men were separated from the women and children, yet again no fathers. Post slavery, economic depression forced men to leave their families because they couldn’t cope with supporting the family, once more no fathers. This is just the family. Let’s not forget the other myriad of problems that face black people in America. ‘Rap’ and ‘Hip hop’ were the pinnacle of black expression – a voice of dissent towards a Nation festooned with illusions of “Freedom” and “Liberty” – in other words, Bullshit!
Till any one of these un-black rappers doesn’t experience any of the above, I think you should save yourself some time and go insert your cock into a grinder and sing something by Sinatra or any of the other rich fuck loving crooners who sound like they’re having a serious case of bleeding constipation. Then blow a cat’s dick and shove a live grenade up your ass. Be gone assholes! Be gone from this world!
Conclusion: Folks, I’m glad to be back!