Open All Night!!!

Necrophilia

This one’s for the guys…

I can’t seem to find anything wrong with Necrophilia. It seems to be illegal in most countries though. Most people seem to think fucking a dead person is morally wrong. How so?

Sure, it does go to show you don’t really have a social life but think about it for a second, in a world where we SELL Gluttonous products like a Value Meal, Pride-inducing vehicles like a Rolls Royce or Lust-harnessing perfumes and colognes – where ADVERTISING is based on creating Envy amongst people causing them to get Angry and Greed for more before wastefully throwing their purchases aside and becoming Slothful pigs – in such a world, there is no reason why you can’t get uncollected bodies at a morgue and market it as a:

All You Can Rape Buffet!

Technically, the issue of consent never really comes up because the person is dead. The bodies are re-useable and even disposable so there won’t be any risks of sexually transmitted diseases owing to multiple partners. These bodies are also uncollected so you won’t find any disgruntled relatives.

Furthermore, I think there should always be an option in the sign off form for relatives to give away their deceased relative for such a cause; obviously they should be remunerated for it; a small fee and a ‘thank you’ card would certainly not hurt. It would definitely ease the burden of funeral fees for the poor.

The illegal prostitution trade would undoubtedly be badly affected by this Buffet and to a certain extent even rapes might be reduced. Such a Buffet would also allow people to express their deepest and vilest sexual fantasies and perversions without any hindrance. It will certainly provide opportunities to youths to experiment with sex without any unwanted repercussions.

Businessmen seeking for affairs need not worry because there are no emotional entanglements or attachments and it will certainly reduce the pent up sexual frustration of the general adult male population in most countries. And best of all, it’s the ONLY time guys can ever say…

“I fucked the living shit out of her…”

and actually mean it, literally…

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