Open All Night!!!


To me a Sport has two components.

1) Complete physical agility; both legs, both hands and torso must be used.
2) Full mental focus; this includes the right side of the brain that conceptualises the sport and the left which works out the strategies to win.

Folks, let me tell you the honest truth:

Football (or soccer) is NOT a Sport.

What is the point of having a Sport that allows you to use your legs but not your hands? The whole thing is without logic!

People say – “Well, that’s the challenge of football” – BULLSHIT!

If I can get 10 physically challenged or disabled guys who lost both their hands in a freak helicopter accident on a field to play football, they would not find it to be a challenge at all! Football can be played by disabled people without any difficulty. Throw-ins might seem like a problem but with there being a 100% reduction in punching, shoving, stabbing, poking, slamming, pushing, pulling, pounding, slapping and hitting, the referee could easily throw the ball in or get the linesman to do it (they are excessively overpaid for what they do anyway). The goalie isn’t an issue because he uses his entire body and his mind as well, so I’ll be able to get any average person.

Now, if disabled people can play the sport without a challenge; then there is no ‘challenge’ in the sport.

Football is ultimately a sissy game played by soft people from Cambridge University; the kind of University you would go to if your father is full of shit and your mother thinks too highly of you. Football isn’t a sport. It is merely an Activity engaged by people who can’t play Sports.

Whatever happened to real Sports and Sportsmanship?

You know, the kind of sport we use to be proud about. The kind of sport which was exclusive and only the strongest Sportsmen among us played it and the rest shy away because they were aware of their own weaknesses. The kind of sport that saw you go into a whirlpool and come back with nothing short of a broken nose; where losing blood was the norm and men were still able to procreate after getting hit 23 times in the balls (for every match). A sport where the players came from your village and not some country across a freaking ocean and who doesn’t speak your language or know anything about you!

William Webb Ellis would be laughing right now if he saw what Football has done for this planet.


Only soft losers play football these days and sadly 98% of those who do are completely talentless at it. It doesn’t help either that big clothing labels continue to exploit people’s irrational fear of ‘not being accepted’. So they go on to get these “football stars” to endorse their garbage, while dumb consumer numbskulls go on to buy these shit products thinking they’ll be able to play football as good as the “stars” or that their so-called-friends would accept them as being ‘Cool’.

And why the need to sensationalise someone’s life? Is your life really that hollow that you have to be bothered about who David Beckham fucks? Is your life really devoid of meaning that you have to give a shit about Ronaldinho’s underwear size? Do you actually waste 2 hours of your life reading the tabloids on when footballer’s girlfriends are having their periods?

Football is not a sport. It is a big business franchise, thriving on human weakness while acting as a gateway for advertisers and marketers to smear their faeces all over your TV screen, so that you will remain asleep to the Government who is fucking you off your tax money and discouraging you to pick up a book and educate yourself, you stupid miserable worthless ignorant Coke-drinking fuck!


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